What's Mother's Day Got to Do with It?

Mother's day.  It is what it is right friends?  I just have to take a moment to acknowledge something about mother's day that people often forget.  For so many of us it is a day of grieving and loss.  It may be that someone is trying desperately to become a mother, and thus far, are grieving the loss of motherhood in general.  There are some teen mom's grieving the choices they made that got them to the point of single motherhood, thankful for their baby, but wishing they'd waited. There are some of us aching with the loss of our own mother's.  It may be that someone that a miscarriage has left someone broken at the idea of what could have been.  There are women who gave up their babies for adoption, knowing it was the right choice for them, but heartbroken at the idea of their child calling someone else mom.  There are women that didn't go through with pregnancy, regretting that they made that choice.

It is great to celebrate motherhood and mothers in general, but please friends, be delicate.  Don't complain about your Mother's Day gift or all the ways you wished it had been different.  There maybe be people that would give up a 100 Mother's Days to be where you are, or 100 more to have their mother back.  I'm so thankful for my beautiful family, my wonderful husband and three kids, but every year, no matter how many pass, Mother's Day is hard for me.  Don't forget the broken hearted around you on this special occasion.

Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Who do you know that may be struggling with Mother's Day?  How can you comfort them?

For all my friends that are grieving or seeking comfort in loss, I'm thinking of you and praying for you as Mother's Day approaches.

Boston

I've spent days sifting through my feelings about what happened in Boston.  Tragic events like this always stir up emotions about my own tragic experiences.  Feelings I thought I'd dealt with, but always resurface from time to time.

I am beyond broken hearted by these events.  The thought that someone could take a day that so many people worked so hard to prepare for, to train for, and turn it into a day of tragedy is firmly beyond my comprehension.  But let me say this.  Before this bombing occurred, these people were heroes to me.  I can't imagine the dedication and commitment to their goals that these runners have, that their families have in support of their passion.  I've never had that kind of drive. They are more so my heroes now than they ever were before. 

I can't help but think that the bombers intentionally planned the bombs to injure runners in a way that would break their spirits and to try and take away their ability to continue doing the running they so love.  So many of the injuries were of the lower extremity and amputations. But the cowards responsible for this attack far under estimate the resilience and tenacity of the human spirit.  The type of people that run this sort of race will never let you keep them down.  I'm betting that they all show you up and run again in this same marathon some day.  My prayers are with them all.  And I know they will shine beyond this experience and put to shame those responsible for this senseless violence.

So many other people/bloggers have echoed this sentiment, but its so true.  There are so many more of us good people than there are of the bad.  The love will always outshine you.  People gave away their medals to others that were unable to finish the race because of all that went on.  Runners ran to the hospital to donate blood.  Soldiers running the marathon stopped what they were doing to help.  Fans told to evacuate the area held the hands of the hurting.  You only served to show the world how decent and kind and good so many of us are.  Your hate hurts, but our love heals.  

What Matters Most?

I'm dumbstruck at the moment.  In awe of possibility.  Amazed by the generosity of people.  Disturbed by what drives them.  I'm saddened at the inspiration.

To begin, you need to check out this link.
WOW!!! A Veronica Mars Movie


Kickstarter is an amazing website that lets creative people fund their dreams.  It builds their hopes into a reality.  I am blown away by how much money has been raised to back the filming of a Veronica Mars movie.  Seriously?!  Now, I've never seen an episode, so ultimately, I can't and don't judge whether this is a worthy endeavor.  It is what it is.  And because so many people rallied passionately behind this cause, its going to happen.  Something sparked people to be part of something bigger than them, and the end result is exactly as intended.  A movie that people will stand behind, financially and personally will hopefully be the end result.  If not, then I'd like to know what they are going to do with all that money!

What is a little disheartening for me is that there are so many things so much bigger than a movie.  Now let's be real for just a minute.  Even if the movie is amazing and awesome and everyone loves it, how long will that last?  The end result will be temporary.  A beautiful couple of hours in a couple million people's lives.  It will be analyzed, discussed, possible purchased on DVD, even if someone watches it over and over, what comes of that?

I've got a better idea.  Orphans.

Well, orphans aren't really my idea, they are the product of a broken world, but seriously, $3 million and counting sure could do a lot of orphans.  If it makes a difference, I'm pretty sure I could find a celebrity somewhere to record a voicemail for you if you gave $350 towards a child's adoption, though we might have to play fast and loose with the definition of a celebrity.  But really, should that matter?  Even if you don't believe in a God somewhere looking down.  Do you ever wonder what difference your life makes in the grand scheme of things?  Whether it matters that you dropped five dollars on an iced mocha today?  I didn't, but that's only because she charged me for the wrong drink.  I'm not guilt tripping, I wondering.  If I wanted to adopt an orphan, how many people would swoop in and drop dimes? Do you know how many international adoptions could happen with that amount of money?  Let's go with the cost of an expensive country and round up to $30,000 per kid.  Does that put things in perspective for you at all?  Let's go somewhere touchy.  We as the church have the AUDACITY to try and fight against loving gay couples adopting the least of these, but it would only take one family in each church in America to adopt one adoptable child from the foster care system to provide a loving family for EVERY adoptable child currently in the system. Now it would be ridiculous to think that every family could handle the hardships and heartbreak of enduring an adoption journey.  I don't think that every family is cut out for adoption, and I don't know that I am.  But imagine if every family partnered emotionally and financially with families that wanted to. In 2 days, the fastest Kickstarter project ever to ever raise a million dollars, in rough 2 days, raised

$3,124,554 . . .

And its still going!

 Since the time I started typing this post, they've raised enough to bring another kid home.  

Luke 12:34 says For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I think no matter what your personal beliefs are about religion, we've got our treasure in the wrong place.  We have our hearts focused on the wrong things, and I'm toiling and wrestling with where that might be leading me.   

And since I had to save this post and return to complete it the next day, they've raised roughly another $240, 000.

Maybe I'm a Debbie Downer, but I can't help but believe we've taken a wrong turn somewhere. 

Downswing

Today I had another moment of realizing how completely alone and frustrated I am.  With constant foot pain, my physical activities are limited.  I had a really dumb down morning and got mad at the two little kids for pretty much just doing what two little kids do.  Then, with our efforts of breaking the littlest little of her pacifier, I decided to make one of those 30 minute trips to the shoe store sans binky.  I spent at least that long trying on gym shoes, and all my effort was in vain.  No pair of shoes fit comfortably with my orthotics, and my children acted like miniature demons while in the shoe store.  Never again will I endeavor to purchase a pair of shoes with children in tow.  Upon buckling all the kids into the car I promptly began to cry.  Which was fine with Margot since she was already screaming like a banshee because she didn't have a pacifier. 

Poor, poor Miles.  Margot screamed the entire way home, and even more upon me removing her from the vehicle in a frustrated manner.  Everything in me was SCREAMING, "GO GET MCDONALD'S, IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.  A CHEESY, DELICIOUS MCDOUBLE AND A HOT, SALTY LARGE FRY WITH A COKE."  It took every ounce of strength with in me to turn the corner into our subdivision instead of caving to my emotional eating.  Its taking every ounce of strength within me not to hide in the bathroom with a blanket and the gallon ziploc bag of chocolate chip cookies I made for the kids the other day.  Today I am sad, and I'm fighting stuffing my emotions with food.  :(

My windows are super foggy

For all of you that don't know, I have recently relocated to Kissimmee, Florida.  It has been an adventure of sorts.  We have been here since the first week of December, and though I'm pretty outgoing, and of course SUPER likable, I'm still fairly lonely.  So I am stretching myself further outside my comfort zone to meet people.  So far I have met one friend here in the area, a unconventional sort of meeting.  Well, not really.  We both were taking our kids to the bus stop and pretty quickly struck up some conversation.  I was hesitant to talk to her because I struck up a couple conversations with strangers, and none were well received. 

Secondly, I have joined some Meetup groups on Meetup.com.  Initially the majority of the groups did not appeal to me.  Some were down right creepy, but I found two that seemed normal.  I went to one play group and actually had a good time.  I plan on doing things with them again, if the stars align.  Every time something gets planned we have something going on or some kid gets a cold.

Lastly, we have started attending a church, which unfortunately is 45 minutes away from Kissimmee, but worth the drive.  If you want to see where we go, check out www.kensingtonorlando.org

Here are some of the things I've learned about the Central Florida area so far. 

1.  While there are always exceptions to the rule, people here are generally unfriendly.  I don't know if its because most of them are transplants like myself, or if its the heat, but people seem pretty crabby and mean.

2.  The constant warm weather is really really nice.  I am enjoying it a lot. 

3.  Everything is at least 30 minutes away, except the expensive grocery store, CVS, Walgreens and the liquor store.  If we want decent restaurants or even Target, we have to plan on a 30 minute drive.  I'm getting used to it.

4.  Its the south, but its not really the south. 

I'm hoping to update frequently on my adventures of making friends in CFA.  Central Florida Area HOLLA!

Gun control hits home

As all of you may know, I struggle with the casual banter about and "funny" posts both for and against gun control.  It turns my stomach and makes me shudder.  Every time I see the "hilarious" pro gun images, all I can think about is my mom.  And I wondered how to articulate why this issue is so anger inducing for me.  So I did a little research on the internet, and this seemed to sort of hit the nail on the head.  Please bear in mind that it is an editorial article so, while it contains facts, the facts are being used to argue one person's point.  I needed it for the numbers though.  Please take a look at this article if you want, and see how the presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the odds of a woman dying.

 http://www.stltoday.com/news/opinion/columns/the-platform/editorial-domestic-violence-and-guns-make-lethal-combination/article_eaf7cf5f-ca77-5ef8-bd68-cacf4c694b6c.html

 I'm not asking you to agree, but I just want people to realize that guns make it easier to kill people, and not just bad people. I fully support American's right to bear arms, but I don't see any harm in enforcing more stringent background checks and laws that protect women/men/and children from domestic violence.  I think that state laws are able to enforce it more practically but when states fail to do so there needs to be another way to keep people safe.

This article also illustrates the role of guns in domestic violence murders.


http://www.safenest.org/blog/article/?id=88&a=comments
If you don't want to read it then don't, but ignorant comments will be deleted so don't waste your time.






Domestic violence resulted in the death of my mother.  Had a gun not been present in the home, I truly believe she would still be alive today. 

Sweet Long Goodbye

It truly has been a very sweet and very long goodbye.  I feel like we've been saying goodbye to people for months, and yet now that its here, it seems too fast.  I feel like I need to catch my breath, yell at the movers to stop packing for a minute, get my bearings, but then what?  We leave in 2 days for warmer temps and sunny skies.  I'm finally starting to get excited, but I'm also terrified.  I see this house full of boxes, typing as the kids try to nap and the packers finish the basement and garage.  Its the first moment where I've felt both, "STOP" and "can we just finish this already?" 

As this chapter in our lives is wrapping up, God has been faithful to tie our most pressing things into nice little Christmas boxes.  We will finally be closing on our house this week.  9 months after the offer was made.  We say goodbye to our landlords with an arrangement we can all agree on, and I am so thankful for them both as their tenants and friends.  We pray for them and wish them so much blessing on their path in the city starting a church.  And we found a place, a beautiful rental to call home in Kissimmee, FL.  Good neighborhood, good schools, and I can only pray, great friends. 

Those of you that know me at all, probably know that I am a planner.  I adapt, but don't enjoy change.  I love my home, friends and family, and I am so sad to go so far away.  But know that while I am not thrilled about this whole endeavor, God is growing me something awful, well something great too.  He is testing my faith and most importantly my trust.  I don't know a single soul there, but at every point in my life when I've needed a friend, God sent me just the right one. Some of you were just that person, at just the right time, and I am so thankful for the place you made in my heart and life.  I only  hope that you know who you are. 

So I ask this, as I prepare to depart from Illinois.  Pray for these couple things for me in the next few weeks.  1.  Peace.  2. Bravery.  3.  One good friend. 

Please come visit us when you head to see that famous mouse .  You know who I'm talking about.  We'll even let most of you stay with us.  And we'll even have enough room.  But if not, we'll at least make you dinner one night. Much love to you all.